Love Has a Name

Are you ready to die?

I mean really ready. Have you had a near death experience? How about an “on the way” to death experience? A moment where you very easily could have died if even 1 more negative factor was present.

2 days prior to starting this post, I had a near death experience. I am a generally healthy, a mid 30’s male and I keep relatively active and fit. I do my best to eat healthy and clean as much as I’m able (my wife certainly helps with that!). I am by no means a vegan CrossFit junkie, however, I can play sports for hours on end and get back up the next day and do it all over again.

I have no elevator in my 6 story apartment building and a busy day at work sees me climb 3 flights of stairs anywhere from 15-20 times per day. I won’t win a marathon but I won’t die prematurely, I hope. I also have 2 dogs and an 18 month old who is extremely active; keeping me on my toes every minute I’m home.

On a balmy Monday evening I was eating a delicious meal, lovingly prepared by my then fiancé. I went to her house to visit and immediately could smell her cooking. It was heavenly, almost a little too heavenly.

We sat down to eat and she was so excited that she found asparagus. We live in Southeast Asia and some vegetables are hard to find and expensive when they do arrive in the stores. Nevertheless she shared the story of how unreal it was in nearly 8 years to find nice asparagus in the store.

How can you avoid a vegetable like that when you live abroad and don’t get the same quality food as you are used to?

We chowed down and dang was it tasty. We were chatting away about the day, work, life, and our wedding plans. Nothing too out of the ordinary. The best part was that we had time to sit and chat. We are both busy in ministry and as a soon-to-be married couple we are still learning how to slow down and take time for each other.

The slower paced dinner instantly ramped up into a race against the clock. A cough and a couple of sneezes later, I instantly felt my mouth swell up and my throat begin to close.

Within 5 minutes my eyes were puffy and red, leaking tears, my nose was completed jammed up and with each cough I could barely regain my breath. I felt as though I was trying to pull a hotdog through a straw. I just couldn’t get enough air.

We jumped into the car and turned the corner only to face a Southeast Asian traffic nightmare.

GRIDLOCK! I had been a Police Officer for nearly 10 years and faced my share of stressful situations. I’ve experienced shootouts, countless dead and dying people, car chases, and a multitude of fights where people pulled weapons on me, attacked me and were trying to kill myself or someone else. Needless to say I’m fairly comfortable with high stress situations. As a result of my training a stressful situation actually calms me down. Looking at me you wouldn’t be able to tell that I was stressed.

Why is this important to mention?

While we were in traffic, stopped, unable to breathe, I was reading the license plates of vehicles all around me. My fiancé saying to me, “should be go to hospital or the pharmacy? The hospital will probably take around an hour or more to get to.” I replied, “let’s go to the pharmacy, I’m not sure I’ll make it to the hospital.”

The pharmacy was only 15 minutes away in traffic, so we made our way.

Nearly halfway there I began to talk to my Maker, the Maker of heaven and earth and all that is in it. I said, “Lord I’m not sure I’m ready to die. I’m about to get married, the life you’re giving me is coming together so beautifully. I’m not ready to die.”

My fiancé was calm, but irritated at the traffic jam. Nevertheless we made it safely. She hustled into the pharmacy and returned with a bottle of allergy medicine. The pharmacist said to “drink this immediately” and so I complied, obviously.

Sitting in the passenger’s seat of the car outside the pharmacy having just taken 2 shots of allergy medicine, I felt the dam in my nose break. I started like a faucet and my face felt cool. My breath came back in an instant and I knew immediately I was ok.

I looked at my fearless driver and said, “I’m ok, it’s getting better, let’s go home.”

I never knew that I was going to face this type of situation at such a young age. I had moments as a youth or younger adult where I felt allergic reactions, however, nothing close to this.

On the way back, traffic resolving itself, I said, “well that was kinda close, I wasn’t ready to die.” My fiancé replying, “WHAT!?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I didn’t think I was going to make it. This was the end for me. I was talking to God about the end and I started praying for you and for our families. I thought I was on my way out and up to Jesus.”

“Wow!” She exclaimed, “I had no idea that you were feeling that!”

She was thankful I didn’t share how close I felt because she did say that she may have been too stressed to drive had I mentioned how close I was to death.

Matthew 10:28 says, “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

Part of the reason that I was so calm, was because I know where I’m going when I do die. I’m afraid as much as I simply wasn’t ready. I have many things I would like to do. Raising a child or children, living a married life, hopefully for more than a few months, and traveling to some other parts of the world with ministry in order to help setup anti-human trafficking ministries.

I write this because I know so many people in my life, friends, family, loved ones who have not confessed their sin and given their life to Jesus. This truth is much sadder than myself dying. I will go to eternal joy with the Lord Jesus Christ when He takes my life from me, those without Jesus will not.

So I ask you, where will you go if and when you die? The saying is true, “the only 2 things that are certain in life are death and taxes.”

Acts 4:12 says, “Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

So where will you go? A claim such as this, at the very least, should be considered. Humility in searching and allowing yourself to say, “what if I am wrong?” A healthy wholehearted and humble seeking for truth (THE truth, not YOUR truth) I’m certain will result in a joyful realization of the love of Christ.